With the mid-afternoon sun streaming in through the windows, Tanya and I set
ourselves up among the soft blankets and plush pillows on the floor and began this first
recording. Using two mediocre mini mics, we talk about some of the reasons we started
FLOW. This project was seeded while we were driving across Turtle Island from so-
called Vancouver to Tio:tia’ke (Montreal), shedding our skins and sensing into some
new (but yet unknown) form. We were in the bardo, that space between the death of the
old and the birth of the new.
FLOW is a creative journey with no known destination, more of a playground than a
routed map. It is us trying to weave in some of the lessons we harvested over the last
several years. I wager that for almost everyone across this beautiful planet, the
pandemic served up some harsh truths and realizations, forced transformations and
ruptures in the illusion of certainty. What to do with all those teachings? One thing for
certain is that there is no going back to what was.
Through FLOW, we hope to create, produce and share content that is vulnerable,
emergent and comes from our hearts. We’re using this platform as a way to experiment
with loosening our grip on control. In a way, this is a pilgrimage back to ourselves – a
practice of deeper listening, reignited curiosity, and trusting the process. The practice of
going into the dark emptiness of the un-manifested and steward what wants to come
forth. How terrifying! I feel grateful to be doing this in the company of one of my best
friends.
At the center of this creative process is prioritizing our comfort and ease – we are both
spoonies and the needs of our body-minds are leading the way.
When our body-minds say no, we listen.
When they say stop, eat, hydrate, rest – we listen.
This means sometimes we have a day of work planned, but instead we end up
stretching, lounging, eating yummy food and massaging each other. Ahhhh, the luxury
of friendship and care work!
Like so many of us out there, Tanya and I were burning fast and furious in our past
projects. Although it was glorious and spectacular, it also hurt us. Now it’s time for a
slower, softer approach – with each step of our journey, we ask ourselves what we
need. We trust in the pace and flow of our brilliant body-minds. We trust that when we
create in alignment with our biophysical, psychological, emotional and spiritual needs,
we will create in a more meaningful and impactful way – for ourselves first and
foremost.
With this project we are following the flow – its too exhausting to be swimming
upstream, or flying against the gusts of wind all the time.
In this way, FLOW is a push back on the sly and ever-present pressure of productivity –
that buzzing urgency that lives in our body-minds. You know the one… the pressure to
make and do something yesterday. The pressure to create something beautiful, perfect,
worthy in the eyes of the other. This is a major gear in the machine of capitalism, an
algorithm in the program of white supremacy. This productivity pressure is hard-baked
into our being. It is in our bones, we inherited it. We are swimming in the matrix of white
colonial culture. I’m not sure I will ever be free of it.
We expected our first release to be an article and video about conscious partying and
the ritual use of psychoactive substances. It was going to be a Halloween special –
because partying is so exxxxtra around this time of the year, and the veil between the
worlds of the living and the spirits are vapour thin. Can parties become ceremonies?
Can we consciously enter trance states and live for a brief moment in another world of
possibilities? Can we descend into the cracks of Empire, catch a flash of freedom and
let it seep into our nervous systems? Can we bring it back to the consensus reality and
let it support the radical work of solidarity and mutual aid, of care work and healing?
But that is not what happened. We felt resistance when we tried to dive in, and instead it
felt right to start with this podcast, video and short text.
So, FLOW is a mystery in many ways – we have no idea what will emerge in the coming
months and years. We will let it evolve and grow and pass on at the pace and in the
way it wants to. It cannot be contained; we are surrendering to the movement of liquid,
vapour, the currents of wind.
But there are a few things we do hope will happen with FLOW. We hope to:
- inspire and be inspired
- create connections with other beings doing radical, daring work on this damaged
planet
- explore the intersections of magic, ecology, activism and art – and tap into the
activity, growth and decay that is happening in these spaces.
Having the freedom to create in alignment with our body-minds is not always possible
under capitalism.
We are grateful for the GODBERD platform for offering us a chance to create freely and
be compensated. This is a platform for creators of all kinds, to express themselves and
be part of a growing community. There are opportunities for musicians, makers,
inventors, innovators, crafters, writers, sculptors, poets, and anyone else who feels the
creative urge.
Both Tanya and I are also helping GODBERD blossom into something beautiful. If you
have interest in contributing, please get it touch with us!
So with that, I will sign off and let you enjoy the video and podcast introducing FLOW if
you feel called to it.
Wishing you a deep breath of fresh air to keep you buoyant today!
- Autumn Zephyr.